I had been with my partner for six years and had our first daughter together when I became pregnant a second time, shortly after my caesarean. I was completely shocked and wasn’t sure I could cope with a second pregnancy so soon, but the doctor immediately told me if I tried to carry the baby full term that I would die and that the baby would likely die too, leaving my partner alone with our daughter. I agreed to have an abortion and the doctor booked me in for one there and then. The procedure went well and I was never mistreated but the stigma of abortion meant that I had to keep it a secret from everyone. I spoke to a therapist years later and have many unresolved feelings about it, especially a feeling of anger against my partner who said he would “be careful”. It makes me so angry that people always assume it’s all the woman’s fault, and that abortion is something to feel guilty of. Men always talk about the fight for survival being inherently natural and human, but if a woman wants to preserve her own life she is evil, even though there was a great risk that neither I nor the baby would have lived. Abortion must be the right of a civilised society. Pro-lifers are nothing more than misogynists, and should be treated as any other fanatical group. It’s 30 years later, and I haven’t regretted my decision, though I am still traumatised by the whole thing and would never want my daughters to ever have to go through the same thing. My abortion was just as “easy” as the haters claim, yet if they had an ounce of compassion they might realise that it was one of the worst episodes I’ve gone through, and trauma is not a stranger to me.
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